Entry for September 18, 2006

by

LAFF CORNER!

A man woke up and realized he was lying in a hospital bed. A doctor was hovering above him, a look of concern in his face. “Mr. Jones, I have some very bad news for you,” said the doctor. “You’ve just been in a horrible car accident. But you’re very fortunate. Aside from a nasty bump in the head, you just received a few cuts and bruises. After another day or two, you should be just fine.”

“But what about my wife?” asked Mr. Jones. “She was in the car with me.”

The doctor’s face suddenly turned grim. “Well, Mr. Jones, I do have some bad news. You’re wife hasn’t been as fortunate as you. She’s in very serious shape. In fact, she’ll never be the same again. She had a much worse bump in the head–and in fact it’s highly unlikely she’ll ever recover. She’s in a vegetative state, which means that for the remainder of your life you’ll have to look after her every need. You’ll have to feed her, dress her, bathe her, and even help her go to the bathroom. And you’ll have to turn her over in her bed every three hours to prevent bedsores. It will not be a very pleasant life for you from this point forward, Mr. Jones, I’m sorry to say.”

In his bed, Jones turned white as a sheet. “Oh my God,” he moaned. “Oh my God. Tell me you’re kidding.”

Suddenly the doctor grinned. “Yeah, I’m just joking. She’s dead.”

The doctor and Mr. Jones shared a hearty laugh, then later went out for beer.

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